Punch the goblin in the head.
Punch the goblin til he’s dead.
Cut their necks with sharpened swords.
Cut them til there are no more.
Save the townsfolk from the horde.
Save them from the demon lord.
Next week they’ll forget our name,
Least until we earn our fame.

Add some new
Bits to our
Necklace of
Orc ears

Hole up
At the Bar and
Drown ourselves
In piss-warm beer.

We’re Murder Hobos,
Wandering warriors.
Murder Hobos,
Building our cred.
Just so you know,
We can’t eat exposure.
Pay what you owe
Or we’ll cave in your head.

Find the trickster on the trail.
He knows how to find the grail.
“Answer you these questions three,
Then I’ll show you where it be.”
Roll your eyes and give a moan.
Tell him you’ll go on alone.
Put a claymore through his face.
Take his map, pick up the pace.

Find the grail
Once we teach
Orcs how
To fear.

Take it
To the bar and
Fill it up
With piss-warm beer

We’re Murder Hobos.
Pay us in copper.
Murder Hobos.
We can’t make change.
Don’t be a dildo.
We’ve got a warlock.
She’ll make your ass glow
If you’re in casting range.

Our folks’ pre-occupation
Is to share their observations
On our perceived limitations
Vis a vis wealth generation,

But in past administrations
One could get an education
For the base remuneration
Of a hand ejaculation,

So we sell our ministrations,
Which sometimes involve predation…
Or else Defenestration,
And, in some instances, castration,

So they can cram their expectations
And fucking fuck matriculation.
We‘re doing fine within our station
In this crumbling civilization.

SOLO

Punch the goblin in the head.
Punch the goblin til he’s dead.
Cut their necks with sharpened swords.
Cut them til there are no more.
Save the townsfolk from the horde.
Save them from the demon lord.
What’s the matter with these geeks?
We just did this shit last week.

Add some more
Bits to our
Necklace of
Orc ears.

We’re so
Damn sick of
Drowning ourselves
In piss-warm beer.

We’re Murder Hobos,
Wandering warriors.
Murder Hobos,
Building our cred.
Just so you know,
We can’t eat exposure.
Pay what you owe
Or we’ll cave in your
Murder Hobos.
Murder Hobos.
Murder Hobos.
Murder Hobos.
We’ll be broke til we’re dead.